Waiting...
Waiting, waiting and more waiting! I didn't know if we'd ever get answers. They said to give them 2 weeks and our neurologist should have our test results. While when it was 2 weeks I called and the nurse told me that it will take them 3 weeks to read the 24 hour EEG as they do like 3 or 4 phase testing with a 24 hour EEG. Ok, I understand that! Three weeks went by and still no call. The next day (Tuesday) I called and left the nurse a message and an hour later she called me back. The nurse said,"They were working on it but still didn't have the test all read." By this time I'm about fit to be tied. My husband had so much patience but I wanted answers. On Thursday night about 6pm the nurse finally called me back. She said, "They had technical issues but it was being read and she would call me back on Friday!" While I received no phone call! This was really hard for me to swallow since she said she'd call me back and it was already past 3 weeks and almost a month. All weekend and no call of course.
Monday morning I got up and got everyone breakfast and then called the doctors office and left a message for the nurse. I called about noon and left her another message. Yes, I was getting very impatient (to my shame.) Monday night I called her again and this time on my message to the nurse I told her, "I don't care if you have answers or not please call me back so we know whats going on!"
Tuesday wasn't a very good day for us. I wanted to drive into the doctors office and let them know that I wanted answers. Moine finally talked me out of it and said that if the nurse didn't call us back that evening yet that we'd run in Wednesday morning. He didn't think I should run in cause we really needed to watch our trips to town. In the mean time Moine's boss called and told Moine he needed him down at the shop first thing in the morning to do mechanic work to a customers semi. Let's just say that didn't settle well with me. I said, "So we didn't go in today and now you want me to go in alone with all 4 children? That is precisly why I wanted to go today when you were home!" I knew Moine needed to do work while they had it I just didn't like that he hadn't gone with me that day like I wanted. I became a very silent person between 5pm and 7:30p.m. that night. I hate to admit it but I was struggling and asking God "Why?" And I was battling in my head how I should truely handle it and what was God's purpose in this? And was Moine just being to patient or was I truly being to impatient? I talked if asked a question. I just put forth no effort for conversation. Moine and I both were praying! I'm ashamed to admit I wasn't feeling very kind and I didn't have the best attitude. Thankfully God heard my prayers through my selfishness. And I'm thankful to say I apologized and asked for forgiveness from God and also my wonderful, patient husband! Finally Tuesday night the nurse returned my call about 7:30p.m.!
Yes, this is when our day took a total turn around. I'm ashamed that it took that phone call to change my attitude but I'm thankful that God heard my desperate cry and answered it when he wouldn't of had too especially when I was in the mood I was. I'm so thankful God doesn't answer our prayers according to our wants or according to our attitudes. I'm thankful for a God that has perfect timing and knows our needs even before we do!!
The nurse had promised me she'd call me back Friday night already and now it was already Tuesday night at 7:30p.m.. The nurse right away I apologized. I think she knew I was just about at my wits end. The nurse said, "The doc was reading Moine's test when I talked to you on Thursday and I really thought he'd be done reading it that I could call you back on Friday night. But he had some more technical difficulties. I still do not have Moine's 24 hour EEG results. I'm sorry! The doctor that is reading his EEG has promised that he will finish reading the test this week and I will call you back either late Wednesday or Thursday sometime." I told the nurse, please keep me informed!
Wednesday came and went! No call!! That was fine I didn't really expect it till Thursday anyhow. Thursday came and went and still No phone call. I went to our bedroom feeling grumpy. Moine and I had a good talk and we were both feeling the same. We were just ready to move on with our lives. Not knowing the test results was almost harder then knowing the test results. I know that sounds weird but it was true. It was like a huge mountain in front of us that we couldn't go around and we couldn't climb it. We were at a complete stand still where are lives were headed. We really just didn't know what to do anymore. It was 1 month and 2 days and still we didn't really know more then when he first got home from Kansas from the accident. We felt like our lives were on hold or at a stand still. Moine and I spent time in prayer together Thursday night pouring our hearts out to God and crying. We went to bed with a peace that is unexplainable to man! It was a peace that only God can give!
Friday morning came and I asked Moine if I should call the doctor again. He said, "No, he'd just wait it out!" He went on to work then at noon he came home for lunch. At noon Moine asked if the nurse had called yet? I said, "No!" He said well it was up to me if I wanted to call the nurse I could try. Once lunch was over I called the nurse and left her a message that if they don't have test results yet to please still call me and let me know whats going on! I went on with our day. Trying to sing and enjoy my day! It really was a good day. I promised Moine I wouldn't make a trip to town either. Moine came home from work that night and still no call. It was rather disappointing but I told Moine I'm not giving up yet it's not 7:30p.m. yet! He said, "Ok, I'm going to go out and work on my van!" I started fixing supper and praying that God would please have the nurse call so we didn't have to wait another weekend. All the children were playing outside and had taken Moine out back to show him something they were doing. I'm telling you God's timing is perfect!! The house was totally silent and I was singing! All of a sudden the phone rang and I grabbed my bluetooth and phone and yes it was the nurse from the nurologist office!! I already had a piece of paper & an ink pen laying on the counter so just in case she would call me back! Sure enough the nurse had the test (24 hour EEG)results for me.
Was I shocked? No not really. Was it what we wanted? No not really. Had God allowed the test results to take so long getting read and the tecnical difficulties to help us grow and make us stronger & to help build our faith & trust? Absolutely! We really learned alot over these 2 months!! Yes, it helped prepare us even for the test results that I was about to hear. The nurse apologized, for not calling quicker and then she said, "I have the test results for you!" And the phone fell silent. I looked at my phone to make sure she was still there yep she was. I said, "Okay." The nurse replied, "Again I'm sorry it took us long but the 24 hour EEG did conform seizures and high potential for more! I'm calling him a prescription in and I want you to go get it tonight and get him started on it. Don't let him ever miss a dose or he will probably have another seizure and pass out on you again! No driving for 6 months!! And make sure you call our office Monday morning and make him an appointment with our NP for 4 weeks from today." My mind was spinning and I couldn't even think straight. I had so many questions but I didn't even know where to start. I finally just said,"Our suppers almost ready would it be ok if we waited to go get it till tomorrow (Saturday) morning?" The nurse said, "That would be okay but to make sure and get started Sat. morning as soon as we got the meds."
How was I going to tell Moine? I knew no driving was going to be devastaing and hard for him. I mean how do you tell a truck driver "No more driving?" Supper was ready so I went out and told Moine and the children that supper was ready and that the nurse called so when he got in I'd tell him what she said. I kept arguing with myself how I should start and how I should tell him. There really was no way around it. He walked in from outdoors and said, "So?" I had written the info on a piece of paper so I just handed him the paper and let him read it. Not alot was said that night until after the children were in bed. Moine has been using his cdl licenses basically all of his driving years in one way or another. In the years we've been married he's used them all except one year. And most recently he was over the road trucking for the past 3 years! Yes, Moine felt like his whole lively hood had just been ripped from him. Who wouldn't?.
Change & Blessings...
Now for some life wouldn't have taken quite a drastic change but when your husband has been driving truck over the road for 3 years; being gone all week and returning home for the weekend. It has definietly made a huge change for us! It brought a change that we had been praying for! Not how we were hoping and praying it to happen but we can also see reasons why God allowed it to happen the way He did! Yes, we even have blessings for it taking place the way it did. Instead of only seeing my husband on weekends and him being so tired that he had to sleep most of the weekend away to be ready for the next week we now get to see him daily and even at noon.
One of the blessings we have received since Moine's accident is that him and I try to get up early. We have our devotional (quite) time. With a cup of coffee, my husband,God's Word and a quite house lets just say that is some very special times and I wouldn't trade it at all. It's something I look forward too and missed so much when he was over the road. Then I get to fix my husband breakfast! Yes, I look forward to fixing Moine breakfast! There are mornings where he tells me to just stay in bed because he knows I'm not feeling good or I didn't get much sleep. But almost everyday I get up and make him a nice big breakfast. Breakfast is one of his favorite meals. He then heads off to work.
Now that he can't drive he has started doing mechanical work in the shop. Yes, he still works for the same boss. He just can't drive so his boss told him he'd give him mechanic stuff to do in the shop. His boss lives approx. 4 miles from us so Moine gets to come home for lunch everyday for an hour. Instead of feeding the children something quick & easy and going on about my day I now get to make a nice yummy lunch for Moine to come home too and the children & him to enjoy. Moine then goes back to work till 5 or 6 p.m. and then comes home and I have the privelege of making him a wonderful supper!! When you go from making him only meals on the weekend to making meals 3 times a day it is an adjustment! I really enjoy having him here for 3 meals a day and I wouldn't trade it. Alot of times lunch is leftovers as I homeschool our children. Thankfully Moine doesn't mind it either! There are also many times I fix something new cause there were no leftovers!
Of course now he went from a percentage to hourly pay. It has been a huge adjustment. When your paycheck is cut in less then half of what your use to making a week it is definitly a challenge. We are so glad and thankful that we went through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University about 4 years ago! Otherwise we would of totally been lost and not at all prepared for what lay ahead. Of course none of this would of been possible without God! God has always provided our needs! Many times before we even ask. Or we ask and that day yet God has shown us once again how much He truly cares and loves us! God has used many people, some who we didn't even really know or some people we've never even met and also many people who we hold dear to our hearts!! Money, clothes that were needed, activites for the children to help keep them entertained are just a few of the ways we've been blessed by so many of you! God is Amazing!!
The children absolutely love having their daddy home every day! In fact last night Moine went to hang out with a group of guys and I realized that my children were afarid that dad wasn't coming back that night yet. They just couldn't go to sleep till dad had returned home. I honestly didn't realize how afraid they were that daddy was going to leave again and not come home that night. I promised them that as soon as daddy gets home I'd have him come give them a kiss and a hug. The oldest one went to sleep but the other 3 just couldn't relax. Myron (my youngest) has been going to bed about 8:15p.m. and he was still up when Moine got home. He grabbed Moine by the neck and hugged him tight. Moine said, "Do you want me to take you up to your bed?" Myron said,"Yes, please!" It wasn't even 5 minutes later and Moine was back down stairs. And Myron was already asleep! The children love to get their dads approval and like to show him everything. They couldn't be happier that they get to see their daddy every day and have time to spend with him.
On the other hand you can imagine it has been a real adjustment for Moine as well. When hes been so use to the quitness of his semi and no fighting & screaming children and now all of a sudden he hears it often. More then we like and were working on that but our children our normal. He would talk to them on the phone often but its a big change. He loves being home! But he misses the scenery! He loved the scenery!! He also misses driving the semi. He says he doesn't miss the over the road part but he does miss driving the semi.
I really didn't think I'd have that much adjusting to do but I had more then I expected. I was so use to just making my own plans and doing my own thing. Doing what the children and I wanted to do. We would do school during the day and in the winters we'd go look at Christmas lights in the evening or go visit people. In the summer we'd go to a walking track about 4 miles from our place, or to the park or their were many other things we'd do. We met with a Homeschool group once a month (we still hope to be able to do this.) Now all of a sudden I can't just do what we want. Since Moine isn't suppose to be driving and this is very hard for him I feel like I need to be as flexible as I can be for him. If he needs parts from Kokomo I need to take him to get them. And I never know when it will be. Till Moine gets off of work he wants to just relax and take it easy. And thats okay! Now that I have to take him everywhere the children do treasure the days that we don't have to go anywhere! I hate to plan anything cause I want to be available for whenever Moine might need me. I know this is frusterating for Moine too. He just wants to be able to jump in the van and run into town and make a quick trip and not have to worry about making sure I'm home for him. It can be alot of work when you have to load up 4 children each time you need to run Moine to work or anywhere. I'm so thankful & blessed that my children are all old enough that they can walk & get ready by themselves because it sure makes it easier and quicker when trying to get everyone ready and out to the van.
We are blessed though as we learn to work together better! The children learn patience as they wait on dad at stores. And mom learns patience too at times. Even dad learns patience sometimes when he waits in the van with the children so I can make a quick run in somewhere for an item or two. Actually dad handles it very well, and the children do most days. Most days we actually have some rather good discussions.
In fact Moine has handled everything so well. I have been amazed! Of course he has his days. Yesterday was one of those days. He felt like the world was crashing in on him. Another blessing we have is at bedtime we can snuggle in bed and share our hearts. Share what were both feeling and pouring our hearts out. Yes, we talked many hours and shared our hearts when he was over the road but its not the same as being together and looking each other in the face and being able to hold each other while their struggling with life! Theres a difference.
I use to go to bed all hours of the night but now that Moine is home when Moine goes to bed I go to bed! Whatever isn't done will wait till the morning. Now their are times I'm not tired but he is so I will get on the laptop or read a book or write a letter or etc... but I will be in bed with him! Unless he was extra tired and went to bed early then I will join him as soon as I get the children put to bed. I love going to bed with my husband. I really missed doing that the past 3 years and I treasure these moments!
I can still do things for Moine that I use to have to do for him when he wasn't home. And I know he truly appreciates when I do! Anoother big chage is that Moine gets to go to church with us Wednesday nights! We love daddy going with us! Moine not only gets to be more involved with our church and special activities but he also gets to do more with his friends. We get to invite friends over more often. Which we love doing. Playing games as a family or watching a movie together has also become special. We love to be outside in the evening as a family!
Another blessing is that my oldest boy does so much better with school! He looks forward to daddy coming home and he wants to be done with school so he can be with dad! My children really struggled with daddy being gone especially Michael (our oldest boy age 6) i can't describe to you even how hard it was to watch him every time Moine had to leave. It made it so hard for Moine too. It has been so refreshig watching Michael's outlook on life change since daddy is home every night! In fact I asked Michael today, "Do you like daddy being home every night?" He grins and shakes his head and says, "Yep!" I said, "Does it make life seem more normal?" Michael replied,"Yeah I prayed God would give daddy a job where he could be home every night and He answered my prayer! Daddy's my Hero! I love it this way!" Michael is just a happier person all around. In fact we probably all our.
Can good come from bad? Absolutely! There has been alot of good out of this situation. One more blessing that will come from this situation is that Moine and I will get some alone time the end of April. Not exactly where we'd chose to go or do exactly what we'd chose to do in our alone time but like I told my mother-in-law its like the rose among the thorns! I choose to look at the bright side of it instead of worrying about it all. We wonder why it couldn't of ended a bit different? But God knows why! We trust God to work all things out for good! We have learned so much and were thankful that God is a loving, caring and merciful Father!
God has blessed us in so many ways! I know I've missed so many things but I feel like I need to get this posted. Below are a few other blessings that I have thought of often and hope I never take for granted again! I'm blessed and thankful for our AWESOME & AMAZING God!!!
Other blessings are:
*Seeing my hubands smile everyday.
*Feeling his arms around me daily.
*Hugs
*Kisses
*Him whispering "I Love You" in my ear.
*His presence.
*He loves when I'm outside with him when hes working on stuff outside so I also try to make time for just spending time with him while hes working on his projects outside or in the garage. And I love being able to do this!
*I get to serve my husband fresh baked cookies and other special treats.
*I can leave special notes on his pillow.
*I can fix him extra special meals.
*I can fix special date nights for him and I!
*I can surprise him with a shake or other special things at his job!
*He helps motivate me.
*Receiving special acts of love from my husband.
*He watches the children so I can go to our church ladies Bible study and I don't have to try to find a babysitter.
There are so many blessings I couldn't name them all!! I challenge you don't take life or your partner for granted!! Thanks for all each of you have done! Most of all thanks so much for all the love, support, encouragement, prayers, gifts of money and boxes! We can't thank you enough. We pray each of you will be blessed as we have been blessed!
Here is a family photo taken about 2 months ago. Not the best family photo but its the newest I have. From all of us to you..."Thank You!" Blessings to all~
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| The Martins 2013 |
What a testimony! May God continue to be with you on your journey!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lois
ReplyDeleteGod bless y'all!!! I'm so glad god has helped you get threw this, he is powerful!! Love y'all, if you ever need something I'm always here for y'all!
ReplyDeletethanks Lindsey! we couldn't have made it without God and our church family and friends and family
ReplyDelete