If I Could Choose...

                              A good friend who was like a sis to me when I lived in Mississippi wrote this! I thought it went with my last blog that I posted yesterday and so I asked her if I could share. She said sure. Its from the blog; "Whispers from my niche" by Dayna Miller! For those who don't know her, her brother-in-law has Parkinsons. Even so I thought this was really fitting. Blessings to each of you!      

                                      If I could choose...

Lately I'v been thinkin about somethin... With me that is seldom a good thing! Well, I guess that depends on your perspective. Let me tell you what I'v been thinkin this time.

If I could obliterate just one major disease, or just one major sin, thousands and thousands of people would be helped right? So if I were to obliterate just one, what would I choose? One sin... Just one. How about murder? That would certainly save lives! Or maybe any form of child abuse. The world would be a much much better place if no child was ever mistreated in any malicious way. But then what about the damage that is done by lying? How many lives are ripped apart every day by lies and deceit? Looking at diseases the first thing that comes to my mind is cancer. But I wouldn't choose cancer. If I had that power in my hands my selfishness would take over and I would choose to stop the disease that affects me and my family the most. I would root out and destroy the thing that is tearing down piece by piece one of the people I love most in the world. I would stop the THING that is slowly stealing from us one of the greatest men that I know. I would choose that disease because I am selfish and naturally bad and because I love my family passionately and because I want more than anything in the world for each of my neicews to be happy and healthy and well adjusted. If I were good though, if I were not selfish and if I had the capacity to honestly love other children as much as my own sweet littles, I would choose cancer, or kwashiorkor (essentially childhood starvation). I would pick the disease who's end would save the most lives. Truly I would. But I'm not good. I'm human and therefore I do not (ThankFully!!) have that choice. But I have Jesus.

See, here is the thing. If I had the power to take away all rape in the world, or all hunger, or all cancer, or even... yes even all Parkinson's, I would take with it the work that Christ can do through it. To take away any sin would be to take away the incredible gift of healing that can be found through Jesus Christ. To take away any disease would be to take away the beauty of His presence through our darkest days. I would love to save my family the heart break of loss. I would love to give back to my friend the sweet mama she lost to cancer. I would love to erase the horror deep in the eyes and heart of my friend as she pours out her story of childhood abuse. I cant. But I know One who can. I know One who provides amply and in ways that an earthly father never can. I know One who comforts with a presence sweeter even than that of a mother. I know One who can restore purity and wholeness to a heart that has been ravaged by another person's sin.

The reality is that we each make our choices. We choose our pain, our sorrow, our suffering... Or, we choose Christ. None of us can make the bad things that we, or anyone else, faces go away. But we can listen, love, support, care, and share Jesus Christ with each hurting person (and that is absolutely everyone) that we meet.

This is the time and place where maybe I should say that we must choose Christ and endure to the end because heaven will be worth it all. That would be a true statement. But it would cheapen life here and life there SO so SO much! I don't like to watch someone I love loose physical capacity. I don't like to see pieces of him change and crumble. I don't like to know that a week and a half ago I sat in church and tried hard not to giggle at a sweet little girl who was giggling at me... And that a few short days later her life here ended. I don't like the reality that a woman so strong and graceful and full of life lost her battle with cancer and left her children and grandchildren to muddle through the hurt and brokenness and horror of loss. I don't like that evil men can do evil things and bring such shame and heartbreak to innocent lives. I don't like it. Everything within me rebels and cries against it. But if Jesus is there, if He is with the hurting, if His hand is over me, guiding you, feeding the hungry, loving the sick, is that not heaven? Is heaven not His presence here as much as His presence on the other side of death? JESUS is worth choosing. JESUS is worth laying down our rights for. JESUS is worth the hurt and risk it takes to let Him heal us. Yes, a new heaven and a new earth will be wonderful! Every moment immersed in a world where there is no need of the sun because there is the Son... Nothing could possibly be more incredible!! But what makes us think we will experience His presence there if we do not choose to experience it here?

I can not choose a sin to destroy. I can not choose a disease to obliterate. But let me tell you what I can choose. I can choose one heart to give to Jesus. I can choose one life to sink completely into Him. I can choose one day at a time to let my face show forth the crazy amazing love of Him who holds my moments, the good and the bad, in His hands. I can choose Jesus.